Sunday, December 21, 2014
Last night Matt and I were walking back to our car after spending time with friends when a woman approached us and introduced herself as "Angel". She looked at me and said, "You're going to have a girl. She's going to be funny like her daddy and beautiful like her mommy. And smart like both of you."
This morning, Matt said, "Do you realize that an Angel told us last night that our daughter was going to be beautiful?"
And funny. And smart. I do believe that angels walk among us and that God uses people to give us messages of reassurance and confirmation. I can't say that's what happened last night. But that didn't stop me from crying happy tears.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
We joke now before going in for any appointment with the specialist, what is this doctor going to find wrong today. So I'm a fool to be surprised that he found something new! Her measurements haven't gotten worse and the fluid in her brain is still within normal limits - praise God. However, little Miss Emmy Faith refused to show her face, so we were unable to see if her nasal bone has appeared. My amniotic fluid was a little high (one more thing to monitor) and the doctor announced that our daughter has clubbed feet! (I can't make this up). I was disappointed but Matt was excited. I heard all the things that can still go wrong, he heard a doctor that can't stop talking say a whole bunch of nothing.
We prayed that God would handle His miracle in His own way, which also means in His own time. I won't lie, I wanted more. I wanted to see her little face and see that nasal bone. I wanted the fluid in her brain to decrease. I wanted her measurements to somehow correct themselves. So what am I supposed to learn here? It's the age-old lesson of patience, trust, and letting go of control because I never had it to begin with. We'll remain obedient, faithful, and strong - as difficult as it feels right now. And we'll remember that just because we can't see the ending to this story yet, it's already been written.
And it is beautiful.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Two weeks ago, I left the prenatal specialist’s office, broken. The technician and the doctor performing the echo cardiogram on our unborn baby girl both found a hole in the lower region of her heart. The doctor was very clear that the hole would not fix itself and we would need to see a cardiac specialist to go over details and make arrangements. Emmy Faith would have heart surgery only weeks after her birth.
I shared that when I came home that night, God gave me two Bible verses straight from His divine word. The first was Matthew 15:28
“And Jesus answered, ‘Woman, your faith is great!’ And her daughter was healed that very hour.”
Before we left yesterday morning for the meeting with the heart specialist, I read an article about miracles. The author talked about the blind man calling out to Jesus as He passed. Even the blind man could see what so many couldn’t - that the ultimate Healer was passing him by. When Jesus heard the man’s cry, He stopped. I love that. He stopped. He could have stopped to heal countless on His way throughout the town, but He stopped to open the eyes of the beggar when He heard the faith in his pleas above the noise of the crowds.
These last two weeks have been a beautiful struggle for Matt and I as we have learned to walk from knowing God can work a miracle to believing that He will. It’s been such a journey to find the joy in the trial as we feel His love and compassion for us. My precious husband has learned to pray in a way he had refused to until now, as he tried for years to keep up a wall for defense. I’ve watched as that wall has crumbled a little more each morning after his prayer walk. And I found that I had to put my faith on the line for the first time, knowing what I heard and believing, even through the doubt that I could be wrong. When I surrendered to His voice, I grew in confidence and boldness.
Matt and I both walked into that office yesterday certain that not only could Jesus show us a miracle, but that He would.
For two hours, the cardiac specialist searched for the defect the others had seen. He checked the atrium, ventricles, arches, vessels, arteries, size, rhythm, and rate. All he saw was a perfectly created heart. There will be no heart surgery. No special OB to deliver her, no planning for an additional hospital stay, no separation while she recovers, no worries about how to dress her wound, no prayers in the waiting room as they work on her tiny body.
Just our miracle.
God still perform miracles today because He hasn’t changed since the beginning of creation. We have so many examples to lean on in the Bible. So many instances of miracles happen all around us even now, even though the world tries desperately to say they are chance, coincidence, or some cosmic fluke. But I know full well that our God is the God that heals - He healed Emmy Faith's heart on November 4th, just a little after 8:00 pm.
He can work any miracle. He can work your miracle. He can bring home wayward children, open wombs, provide jobs, bring home loved ones, mend relationships, comfort those in sorrow, cure addictions, bind Satan, and shatter depression. Cry out to Him, even if your eyes fail to see Him.
And He’ll stop.