I Understand

One year ago today, my deepest fears were obliterated and a new life began for us all.

This baby girl has given me a new purpose. She's given me a love that reaches higher to my God, deeper for my family, and spreads out to countless others I would never have seen before her.

All those months of begging, pleading, and crying out to Jesus for Him to take away my daughter’s Down syndrome, and that morning, exactly one year ago this morning, I was faced with the realization that His answer was ‘No’. 

‘No, sweetheart. I know you don’t understand now, but one day you will.’

And He was right.




Isaiah 55:8-9
8“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Choose Today

She studies my mouth. She has from when I first cradled her, in the dim lights of the hospital room. She reflects my smile, her lips try to form the shape of mine. She copies my sounds, stays focused on my tone. She seeks my attention in her response, and waits patiently for my reaction.

Her life might not always be filled with sweet faces and kind words. At times, her future scares me. I can’t make it out in the fuzzy haze of an unstable world, and I lack control. She won’t forever remain safe in my gaze, she won’t always be held in a gentle embrace. 

But, today - today she is.

Today I can give her kisses and read her books. Today I can make her laugh and dance with her to silly songs. Today I can rock her and brush my finger across her cheek until she falls asleep. Today I can pour into her everything she’ll need to be strong, and brave, and bold tomorrow. And tomorrow is coming.

So I choose today.