He’s by her side…
And it hurts. No matter how many times I tell myself not to compare, I do. I’ve watched him all his life, fly past her. It’s so difficult to admit that sometimes it makes me sad to see him soaring when she’s just finding her wings. When she was learning to sit, he was walking. When she finally crawled, he was running. He was saying ‘mama’, while she was making her first sign. He reminds me that her future might not be easy, and I struggle to push back the negative thoughts that continue to remind me that this world is not going to always be kind.
But he’s by her side.
Then I get up the courage to take a peek into the future. Most of the time that’s very difficult for me, but this time I see them when they’re three years old. He’s handing her a balloon and they’re bouncing it in the air. He’s holding her hand, and they’re running through the church while the parents are talking after service. He’s stopping to wait. She’s giggling, and she runs ahead. They’re singing songs, acting silly.
And he’s by her side.
Then I see them when they’re ten. He meets another child at his school with the same eyes as hers, and he wants to be friends with him because he knows the secret. The next time he sees his Emmy, he’s excited to share with her about his new friend. He gives her a hug, because they’ve always been friends, and that will never change. I see him with his arm around her, proud to make her smile.
And he’s still by her side.
I see them when they're sixteen and he’s defending a boy in his school who’s being bullied. He tells the others just why that boy deserves to be respected and treated with dignity, because he can’t imagine anyone hurting his Emmy that way. He can’t wait to see her because somewhere along the way he’s decided that he will protect her and any extension of her. He gives her a hug, just like he always does, and sits down next to her in church.
Right by her side.
I see them when their grown, and he’s raising his own children to love everyone, no matter the number of chromosomes. He’s spent his whole life cheering for her and celebrating her victories. She’s spent her whole life cheering for him and celebrating his victories. Their friendship won’t just change who they become, it will change others who have the privilege of knowing them.
Because he’s by her side.
Back in this moment, I look in the nursery and it hurts a little less. He’s playing the drums, and she’s playing the xylophone. I take notice of the milestones she’s meeting and the similarities they share. They’re smiling, he’s laughing and they're building a bond that melts me. Because he’s right where he’s supposed to be…
By her side.